Tough Alliance
by GelibeanH20
Summary: Skipper enlists an old friend to help him defeat the fiend Doctor Blowhole. However, getting them to help will complicate things much more than he realizes. Kat's Tale-Penguins crossover. Humanized. Rude humour in parts.


"Is this the house, Kowalski?"

Kowalski pushed his glasses up his nose and glanced down at his clipboard. "Indeed it is, Skipper. Are you sure you want to go to _her_ for help, though? I mean, of all people. . ."

Skipper grinned and straightened the lapels on his military-issue uniform. "To catch a criminal, you gotta get a criminal on your side."

Skipper felt a tug on his sleeve and looked down. "Private?"

"Skipper," the little boy said in his quaint British accent. "Shouldn't we arrest them? I-I mean, they _are_-"

"Private," said Skipper. "We must catch this fiend Doctor Blowhole. . . He is one of the few enemies that I have possessed that has evaded my capture for so long. Another one of those enemies. . . is Kat Tana."

"Kat?" asked Private. "B-but that's a girl's name. . ."

"That's fitting, considering she _is_ a girl."

"B-but you said that girls can't be in the military. . ."

Skipper sighed. "I'm well aware of what I said, Private, but desperate times. . ." He drew himself up to his full height, stomped up the stairs and banged on the door. "Open up! It's the military!"

"Fuck!" muttered a voice inside, in Japanese. "If anyone needs me, I'm in the bomb shelter." Fast footsteps took off, followed by several others and people calling, "Wait for me!"

"Rico!" called Skipper. "Battering ram, now!"

"Skipper," said Kowalski quietly before Rico could hand their leader the instrument. He strode over and slid the door open. "You forget we're in Japan. This is a paper screen door. A battering ram will simply tear right through it. Besides, our intentions are not hostile."

"I'm a hostile person, Kowalski," snapped Skipper. He pushed past him and stomped into the house. "Search the place!" he commanded to his three men. "Find her!"

Underneath the team's feet, four people and a cat crouched quietly. Kat, Akio, Naomi, Taro and Koto the cat sat in the bomb shelter. Koji and Sakura were currently out for dinner.

"Alrighty," said Kat, clapping her hands together. "It's been _ages_ since I've taken out a military team! So this is the plan. Taro and Koto, you jump out. When they capture and/or kill you, Naomi, you shoot them. Akio you stand by as moral support while I deal the finishing blows with my claws." She unsheathed them to reiterate. "Any questions?"

Taro and Koto both shouted, "Why are WE bait?!"

"Because you're expendable. Anything else?"

Akio said, "Why do we have to kill them?"

"Duh. It's the military. Any other stupid questions."

"OH MY GOD LOOK AT ALL THIS LAB EQUIPMENT!" came a voice in English on the other side of the thick, double barred door. All the Anthromorphs froze. The voice was laughing with glee. "Oh, gosh, I just _envy_ the scientist who owns this! Oh! An _octopus tank?!_ The plaque says. . . Cthulu. Huh. Not a bad name." The voice coughed. "Anybody down here?"

"HELP ME!" yelled Koto, before Kat clamped his mouth shut.

"Skipper! They're down here!"

_Skipper?_ The name sounded familiar to Kat. . . But. . . Nah, it couldn't be. . .

Footsteps came up to the door, then they pounded on it. "OPEN UP!"

"Sir, let me!" came the voice of a little boy. There was a polite knocking, then he said, "Miss Tana? We've come for your help. We do not intend to harm."

Kat rolled her eyes, stood and opened the eye slot on the door and looked down. She widened her eyes when she saw Skipper. She unlocked and unbarred the door, threw it open and said in fluent English, though with a bit of an accent, "Skipper! How you doin', pal?"

Skipper's face was stony. "We've never been friends."

Kat shrugged. "Whatever. Let's go upstairs." She looked at his team. "Care to introduce me?"

"I'm Private!" shouted the little boy.

"That's Rico," said Skipper, jabbing a thumb at his weapons man. "He doesn't talk much."

"Just the way I like 'em. Who's the geek, over there?"

"That's Kowalski."

"I got one of 'em, too."

Skipper arched an eyebrow.

"His name's Koji. This is his lab."

"And what a lab it is!" cried Kowalski. "He gets a whole _basement,_ while I'm forced to keep my works confined to the corner. . ." He sounded a little resentful.

"Who're _your_ friends?" asked Skipper, peering around Kat's shoulder, as he was a little less than a head shorter than her.

She glanced back. "Left to right, that's Taro, Naomi, Koto and Akio. Aki, wanna come with? We're headed upstairs. The rest of you guys can do whatever the hell you want."

Kat stuck her hands in her pockets and strode upstairs, Akio following. Skipper beckoned for his men to come as well, and had to drag Kowalski away from the octopus tank.

Upstairs, Kat turned the light on over the kitchen table, creating a desired ominous shadow, and took a seat. There were only two chairs, so Skipper took the other one.

"Do you have any weapons on you?" asked Kat as she took a cigarette and lit it. "Oh, sorry. Want one?" She offered him the pack.

Not wanting to look like a wimp, he reluctantly took one and Kat lit it for him. As soon as he drew in a breath, his eyes went wide and he started coughing. Kat pushed a glass of water over to him and he drank deeply, despite worrying of poison. When he finished, his looked suspiciously over at Kat and asked, "Poisoned?"

"Ask yourself two things, Skipper," she said, her cigarette dangling from her fingers. "One, _how_ could I poison you, and two, _why_ would I do such a thing?"

He drummed his fingers on the table and snuffed his cigarette.

"You used to tolerate those well," she commented. "Military regulations and sterile environments getting you down, old boy?"

He gave her a dark look.

"Anyway," she said, taking a pull, "You didn't answer my question."

"I don't have any weapons with me."

"Nor I."

The two of them paused, then they smiled.

"We can both kill each other with our bare hands, Skipper," said Kat. "May as well come clean."

"I agree," he said with a grin, standing up with Kat. From their place in the corner, Skipper's team and Akio watched as their two friends emptied their pockets. From Skipper's came two guns, a grenade, a smoke bomb, two boxes of bullets, a double bladed knife with a clean edge and a serrated edge, and a vial of poison. From Kat's pockets came six knives, her dagger, a gun, one box of bullets and a handful of gunpowder.

Skipper cocked an eyebrow. "Gunpowder?"

"Loose gunpowder can be surprisingly useful." She flicked a claw out. "I'd take these off if I could, you know."

Skipper chuckled and took a seat again.

Kat brushed herself off and sat as well. "Well, now that _that_'s all out of the way, why did you come here? What did you want?"

"What I _do_ want," said Skipper, "Is your help."

Her ear flicked. "I'm listening, Penguin."

Skipper narrowed his eyes at the nickname, then said, getting more worked up by the word, "Have you heard of the nefarious fiend, the scourge of my existence, the bane of society, th-that _dolphin. . ._ Doctor Blowhole?"

Kat burst into laughter, pounding the table as the hilarity ripped through her. "Skipper," she said, still chuckling, "I've heard rumours about you going crazy, but this takes the cake! God, Doctor Blowhole? That's the dumbest thing ever. . ."

"He's real!" piped up Private. "I met him!"

"You sure it wasn't your captain dressed up like a lunatic? Well, that's a bad example. Skipper as a lunatic isn't really a costume." She grinned at his furious expression.

"Why, you. . ." he muttered. He caught a look that Kowalski shot him as he tapped his clipboard with his pen. On it was a sketch of Doctor Blowhole – complete with his red bionic eye, turtleneck and classic high collared villain's coat – then he flipped the page and showed him a picture of a bag of money, gesturing that he bribe Kat.

Skipper let out a bitter sigh. "Whatever you might think, _Tana_," he spat. "The Doctor _is_ real, and he's a legitimate threat. If he does something insane, governments everywhere could have our kind locked up." He ran a hand through his hair which – like his colleagues – was actually made of feathers. Skipper and his team were all penguin Anthromorphs.

Kat cocked her head. "Continue."

"Right now, he is outside of New York and is plotting the annihilation of the entire city! My home. . ."

Kat let her cigarette dangle from her lip. "So? Not my country."

"Kat. . ." hissed Akio.

"What?" she asked.

"He will destroy New York. . ."

"Why?"

"In the hopes of killing me, mostly."

"Cool! You have an arch enemy!"

"I've always had them. . ." He let a grin slip onto his face. "But it is cool."

"I know, right?!" said Kat, grinning widely. "I killed mine off a little while ago, but a new one took her place really quickly."

"Wow, you killed yours off?"

"After she was chasing me for twenty years."

"Oh. Well, that's great!"

"Totally.

Skipper coughed and shook his head. "As well as New York, he's planning on destroying Washington DC, followed by every capital city on the planet."

Kat cocked an eyebrow.

"Including Tokyo," said Kowalski from his position in the back.

"Oh. . ." she said. "So. . . this _is_ a problem for me."

"Well," said Kowalski, "We only had three options: One, get blown up, two, come and get you, or three, move to New Jersey. And we all know that the third one _certainly_ wasn't an option."

"True," said Skipper. "I also would have probably killed _him_ if you didn't agree." He jabbed a thumb towards Akio, who started edging his way towards the door. "Is he your second in command?"

"You could say that. He's more just a backup in case I die and need some help afterwards."

Skipper gave her a look. "But you'll already be dead."

Kat sighed. "I've learned a lot about myself since we last met." She stood and lifted her shirt off her stomach, exposing a strikingly white scar. She glanced over at the team in time to see Rico looking eager for more (_Ew,_ she thought), Private looking embarrassed and Kowalski moving in close to examine the old wound. He looked at it, prodded it, and asked, "How deep was the wound?"

"Deep enough to puncture my stomach and kill me."

"You died."

"Yes."

"But you're still here."

She grinned and let her shirt drop. "Cats have nine lives, baby. Magic _is_ real."

Kowalski stared hard at her. "No, no it is _not!_ Do you know why?! Because _science_ doesn't allow for magic to exist! You. . . you are a pack of _lies!_"

"I believe her," said Skipper.

Kowalski looked horrified and outraged, as if he had just found out that someone had been using his toothbrush to clean the toilet (Rico did, but that's a story for another time). "B-but Skipper!" he cried. "S-science. . ."

"Is not always right," he finished. "Anyway, Kat, if you were to help me on this enterprise. . . You would receive an award."

She raised her eyebrows and looked eager. "I would?"

"Oh, yes."

"What?"

"A military promotion."

Her ears drooped. "Oh."

"Or money. Money's good, too."

She clapped her hands together. "Oh, goody! I'll go get my old combats! Can you suit up Akio, or something? I like having him around." She dashed off to get changed, taking all of her weapons with her.

Skipper sighed and muttered, "Desperate times. . ." He straightened and said, "Kowalski, take uh. . . What's your name?"

"Akio."

"Last name?"

"Sato."

"Take Sato out to the van and get him suited up."

Kowalski looked a little hurt. "With my clothes?"

He sighed. "No, with Rico's, if you don't mind."

Rico shrugged. "Nah."

"Come with me," said Kowalski, taking Akio out to their van.

"You two are dismissed," said Skipper to Private and Rico, who went outside to peruse their own enterprises.

Skipper put his weapons away again, and slumped, his head resting in his hands. "Dammit," he muttered. "I'm such a desperate bastard. . ."

What he hated to admit to himself was that Kat Tana was surprisingly talented. A strong martial artist, good with knives, rather cunning AND a woman? Before he met her, he didn't believe that women had the potential to become fighters, but now he believes that some of the best and dirtiest fighters _were_ women. He hated it when people changed the way he thought of things, but since it wasn't deliberate, he could forgive her. What he couldn't forgive her for, though, was being so damn attractive.

A small piece of scrap paper hit him on the forehead. "Engarde," said Kat with a grin.

Skipper raised his eyebrows. She struck a rather intimidating and impressive figure in her combat boots, cargo pants and leather vest.

She opened the vest and showed him the inside, which as lined with knives. "The guns are in my pockets."

"No rifle?"

"Impractical for a stealth mission. That's why knives are the best. If you do it right, no noise."

He nodded in recognition. "I see."

She tilted her head. "_Is_ this a stealth mission?"

"The only way we could possibly take the place is by sneaking in. . . So yes."

"All six of us?"

"No, just us two, then the backup will come."

She grinned. "Perfect. When do we roll?"

"Now."

"Now? Before supper?"

Skipper looked over at the fridge, tempted by the thought of food. "Okay. Supper first."

"Call the guys," she said, "We have leftover sushi. Enough to feed Khan's army."

Skipper smiled. _Same old Kat_.


End file.
